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Thread: a little somin somin

  1. #1
    Seattles Finest Judge Mental's Avatar
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    Talking a little somin somin

    http://www.projectrhyme.com/forums/s...=7826#post7826
    http://www.projectrhyme.com/forums/s...=7827#post7827

    a living legend' giving peasants' petty lessons, using theft as weapons
    death, donít let in, breath is air breathed from other dimensions
    sentencing victims, lets us sing red rum
    place your bets of roulette, with the dead of the scum
    personal pressures, get worse before better, the curse of a feather
    flyís on the bird of birth, it hurts when plucked to curve through weather
    just like it hurts to be stuck, in a place you should call home
    when its not a purpose of luck that it cant be called on the phone
    life is life, your in a stall of your own, fight the strife, or die in a zone
    where cries roam to show why its not right to ride alone
    iv said goodbye and hello, sat aside all my goals
    lied to those who use to see all the pride that was shown
    fell in love and experienced the hellish fun
    devils run around with spirits with a spell or some
    get mail in tons, sell for funds, snort rails in dozens
    with people buzzin for crack, arms scared from all that
    shit it bitter sweet, tempers brief, vent the heat, with a piece
    to shoot the streets an do to peeps what I chose you see
    do you believe all my foolish greed or are u new to me
    grove to beats, smooth it seems, broom the geeks
    shroom on weekends and bend la playing doom on pc
    pcp needs some tlc with a blt for my belly
    the jelly goes with pb and a little ah honey
    think that im funny, hit the bank for ya money
    smoke the dank till im clumsy still think ya a dummy
    so visit thoughts and give a shot to the kids in the lot
    the bitch with the dot on her face or the midget that rocks
    fuck a mistress with a dildo cock then stuff her face in the pillow slot
    until her body mellows, then dump her, no trace of this fellow got
    um yea im done lol
    Last edited by Judge Mental; 11-22-2005 at 03:14 AM.

  2. #2
    Graff Ting Lucos's Avatar
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    first off, props on leaving feed for others

    now to the verse.....
    this was ok...you need to work on your flow, making the syllables match up in your bars, and also making the syllables match up in your multis (i cant stress how important that is if you use multis)

    eg.
    grove to beats, smooth it seems, broom the geeks
    shroom on weekends and bend la playing doom on pc

    and

    personal pressures, get worse before better, the curse of a feather
    flyís on the bird of birth, it hurts when plucked to curve through weather

    the first line, multis were all good, it was flowing well, then the end on the bar really let it down because the syllables didnt match, it fucked up the flow for me and ruined the bar....so yeah, work on that....also work on adding some metas/wordplay in your verse aswell as a strong topic.....this was ok though, keep at it homie
    Last edited by Lucos; 11-22-2005 at 07:35 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Robert Dope
    If you a real nigga you'll have no problem in Texas. They talk slow, but some of them dudes is smart. Just like nas said. The only thing about Texas is the white people. Just don't talk to them. At all.

  3. #3
    ..Smart went Crazy..
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    Werd. Flow was decent here, mostly in part that the multis were off. You'd start a good pattern, but at the end of the bar, they would disappear. Work on that and your flow should improve a bit. Peace, homie..

  4. #4
    Seattles Finest Judge Mental's Avatar
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    lol i wrote this drunk as fuck last night in 2 minutes.. now that i can read what i wrote i think its dope.. i thought i posted this in the cyher fourm haha

  5. #5
    The All Seeing Eye Binary I's Avatar
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    so visit thoughts and give a shot to the kids in the lot
    the bitch with the dot on her face or the midget that rocks
    fuck a mistress with a dildo cock then stuff her face in the pillow slot
    until her body mellows, then dump her, no trace of this fellow got


    reminded me of atmosphere...which is good and bad. good first because alot of people feel their vibe, and bad, because no one knows who you are hiding behind this mask. keep writing.
    Maturity makes a difference in your outlook on music.

  6. #6
    Liewdwerieter
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